Father Sez

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Archive for March, 2010

My Late Mother and Father’s Sad Demise

Friday, March 12th, 2010
Dear gentle readers, my father, Hj Anwar Batcha Hj Ibram Ghaney, (a.k.a fathersez) had passed away due to heart failure on the 4rth of August 2009 in Sunway Medical Centre. It was a really shocking news to us and we are still very much coping with things without our beloved father. Our loss was indescribable. For those who knew my father, they would know that he was a good and humble man, a reliable friend, a wise teacher, a sincere and honest individual who are always willing to share his knowledge and experience to anyone including a stranger, the best boss anyone would want to work with, a responsible husband and a wonderful father anyone could possibly ask for. Truly my father was known to be a respectable man, a far-thinker, principled, god-fearing, intellectual and a wise man.
I am typing this with tears flowing down my cheeks as I could not control myself how grateful my siblings and I were to have a father who has done a lot for us and he has not once (not even once) troubled those around him even he when he was sick and till the day he died. What sadden me the most is that he had left us in a such an organized way where he had the will done so much earlier when we were small (he had to keep on updating it then), he had all his documentations filed in a such organized way where it had made our lives easier to understand his filing manner after his demise.

Yes, two or three weeks before my father’s passing, I had dreamt of him passing away. Little did I know that the dream was about to come true at that particular time. Sadly, I couldn’t go back to our home in Seremban as I was also infected by this so called dangerous Influenza A virus (H1N1). I was quarantined and I choose to stay in Damansara as I learnt that if people with diabetics and heart disease or older people were infected, it could be deadly. Therefore, I would rather stay somewhere else rather than to harm my family.

One week before my beloved father’s passing, a family meeting was held in our home. My father had told my siblings and I on what we should do if something were to happened to him and our mother. He had also brought a lawyer to our home just for us to understand all the will and probate concept. The lawyer was a good and nice man, but we have no questions to ask as it was a very sad topic and our beloved dad was okay at that time. We did not feel as if it was necessary to understand the concept at that particular time. Therefore, the lawyer’s laugh and said that we can ask him anything, anytime should we have any queries. Shocking as I must say, just before the lawyer was about to leave, my late father said to him, “So, if you received a call from my daughter, you know what it means”. The lawyer was shocked and told him not to say such thing. It was as if he knew that he was going to leave us. This was few three days before his passing. I am very sure of the timing as three days after we met the lawyer; I had to sit for my Islamic Finance’s professional paper exam. It is sad that I did not get the chance to see my father when he was still alive on his deathbed. A wise friend told me that all the traffic jams and delays that made me came to the hospital late was the Almighty Allah’s will; maybe Allah wants me, my other siblings and mother (except for the eldest, she was there with our father) to have the memory of our late father Alive.

This holy month, Ramadhan will be the first ever Ramadhan without my father. What I learnt from my late father is that it is always important to save for the rainy days, be punctual, always choose god-fearing friends and we should always respect people in order to be respected. My father had never ever skipped his prayers, no matter how busy he was. He will turn to various hadiths and the Quran if he had any doubts. He would do sunnah prayers if he felt sad and in order to seek guidance. And if he was feeling so much grateful for something or sad beyond words, he would book a ticket to Mecca and perform his Umrah. He will always spend his time reading and doing productive activities. My late father was a hard working and sincere man. Being an accountant by profession, he had always been frugal, and saving was his main priority. My late father was a super dad to us and understanding father as he listens to our wish and wants. However, he will ask us to weight it with our priorities. He has never beaten us (not even once), like all the parents do when they want to so-called teach their children on manners and principles. My father was wise enough to treat us like an adult since we were young. He was and will always (still) be my mentor and idol despite his demise, as I am very sure I will never ever meet anyone close to my late father’s personalities. I still remember when I was working in one of the big 4 firm, my father had told me to find a mentor and start learning from that particular person, I told him straight away that my mentor was him and that there was no one in the firm that was fit and had strong personalities like him. Still, even if you ask me 30 years from now, my mentor would still be him. Not that I adore him because he was my father, I adore my father as an individual.

Dear readers, do pray for my late father and recite Al-fatihah for him as he was a good man and a wonderful person you would wish you could have met. Having a person like my father makes the world a better place to live in. Semoga Allah S.W.T menempatkan ayah kami di kalangan orang-orang yang beriman dan bertaqwa. May Allah S.W.T grant him HIS heavens. Ameen. May my siblings and I grow to be righteous children who will always pray for our late father. InsyaAllah.

We would like to thank those who had attended our late father’s funeral and continuous support and encouraging words from all of you. We have received various letters, text messages, calls, and even cards from unknown people who were thankful to have met a person like our beloved father. It is really touching when you go to a small shop or a restaurant to buy stuff or food, and the waiter or shop owner cried because you told them that your father had passed away. I had not once heard anyone talk bad or heard any bad comments on my father. My father had always had the “positive aura” around him. He was truly, almost perfect. We love him but Allah S.W.T loves him more. And we could only think of nothing else except so highly of our late beloved father…..


With Love,
Your Loving Daughter, Aja

p/s: this was sumthing i wrote back during the holy month of ramadhan. Just my thought of sharing.

My mother, Hjh Zuraidah Hj Abdul Aziz,had just passed away last Friday (05/03/2010) at 3.10 pm in KPJ Seremban.All of my siblings and I was there with her when she breathe her last. My mother was buried in Senawang and the funeral was done on the same day. My mother left us with a smile on her face…and plus it was friday…I wasnt sad because I want her to come back. but I am just sad that she had to go through so much mental turmoils and pain…but I had always told her and reminded her that Allah SWT would forgive all her sins when she is sick and in so much pain.Ya Allah, May you grant my mother your Jannah , Ya Allah..
May you place her with those who are righteous and pious…
Please be soft and gentle with her Ya Allah…
Please forgive her and please be kind towards her…
Amin Amin Ya Rabbal Alamin


As I am writing this, I am somehow happy that I did not cry much as I did before when my late father left me and my siblings…I am more calm and accepting things,in malay we called it redha than I was before..Though at times, tears will still flow..

I can just feel better by looking at her pictures as I have whole loads of my family album in my room as well as my mother’s last blouse that she wore on the way to the hospital..and also by bending down, sujud to Allah S.W.T as well as listening to the Quran. Prayers and unity really helps in times like this.

My mother was beautiful, inside and out. She was very independent and she does not care if she had friends or no friends. She does not rely on people at all. She does have a few good, trusted and god fearing friends. But thats it. My mother was a Secretary by profesion, and she had met my father in one of the leading banks in Malaysia where she and my father had worked together before. My mother was jovial, happy and she had good sense of humour.

My mother had stopped working completely to look after the family because when I was still a toodler, i fell down the stairs- thanks to the maid who went out with her bf and left me with my sister alone in the house. I was in such traumatic condition to my parents, but alhamdulillah I survived and now I grew up to be a fine young lady. I just wish my mother did not stop working because I feel she could had become a lawyer or anything greater than that due to her voice-up nature. My mother was very understanding and you can tell her anything.

My mother had fair complexion because she had chinese-baba and nyoya blood, and she had rosy cheeks.She was very generous and she would treat you like her own family. My mother had told me not to save in terms of food and we should always welcome our guests and make sure that they eat before they leave our home. My mother was very up-to-date in terms of fashion as she used to sell nice muslimah clothings, custom jewelleries as well as crystal brooches.She would always make sure that her husband and children look neat and clean due to my father corporate reputation and as a muslim anyway. She is very hygenic and clean (clean here means, CLEAN like a real clean maniac), she would go berserk if you are in the category of hiding all your stuff in the closet, making your room looks clean, because she knows!
She would even know if you sweep the floor but push all the dust under the carpet.hehe. She was also very particular about grooming, like getting your nails & hair done, doing facials as well as SPAs treatments.

My mother was not born rich, so she had to do all the housework on her own, because she was the only rose among the thorns in her family. But after she got married with my father, my father provides her with so much necessities and that she does not need to do the housework or any work anymore. She just have to sit and watch my younger siblings. But like any other housewives, she would still do the housework.

My mother had always told me to do istiharah in anything I plan to do. To tell you the truth, I had never really done istiharah before. I am more towards tahajud. She had told me that she was in love with someone from saudi but when she became friends with my father, she starts telling him about all her relationship problems. And my father told her , “leave him and marry me”. My mother did not like my father at first as he was an Indian Muslim and is not the type that my mother was looking for. But my mother adore his strong personalities and sincerity. She did istiharah and she felt that Allah SWT gave her the sign to marry my father. She married my father not because of love but because of religion. And so in Islam, if you pick religion, the rest will flow after that-such as wealth and happiness.

My mother had been fasting always, 3 months straight starting from Rejab, Syaabaan and Ramadhan. She will sit on her sajadah early morning when my siblings and I were still snoring :),after subuh, she starts making breakfast for all my siblings and I and after all of us including my father left the house, she will continue doing prayers, until noon. How do i know this? Its because during school I had the reputation of skipping class for no reasons. I had miss classes 98 days per year approximately due to the reason I am in love with home and the Internet.I should had been home-schooled. Tsk Tsk.Seriously.My mother does sunnah prayers and reciting Quran everyday when she was still in healthy condition. My mother was diagnosed with a tumor in one of her ovaries, therefore the doctor had to remove one of her ovaries and that had made her unable to have children anymore and that, this had stopped her having menses. That is why she can fast for 3 months straight, Alhamdulillah.Only Allah SWT knows best, this misfortune turn out to be a great blessing to my mother as she can pray and fast more.

Even for my late father’s employees, they could actually talk to my mother as my mother was a good and kind listener and she was alert to my father’s office environment, and she would keep their secrets well and try to help them.

My mother took care all of us for years, alone as my father was working abroad. It was not easy for her as I recalled, when she was about to deliver my youngest sister, she had to take taxi to the hospital, and without her husband being with her on her side in the labour room. But Alhamdulillah, my youngest sister grew up well and healthy. Even when my father was back in Malaysia, he would still leave for overseas from time to time.

And so,

I have endless stories about my parents. I have no bad stories to share with you about my parents as they are truly beautiful inside out.I am really missing both of my parents, and truly I know that they belong together in this world and in the hereafter. Dear All do pray for my mother. My siblings and I are very grateful that we were born to such wonderful, God fearing and kind parents.We hope that we could be like them too, Insyaallah.

Lets recite Al-fatihah and prayers for my late father and mother.May Allah SWT forgive them and grant them Jannah.Amin Amin Ya Rabbal Alamin.


p/s: I am truly sorry for taking so long to update my late father’s blog. This is actually two separate notes. Please know that it is none of my intention for the delay in updating all of you. I can be contacted at xynix1805@yahoo.com ,if you have any enquiries.

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