Father Sez

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A good example why just preaching to my children on pf won’t help

Thursday February 7th, 2008 by fathersez

I have been thinking a lot about my post of a couple of days ago. Perhaps the thoughts have been tinged with a sense of regret. Regret that I was not always around during the very formative years as my elder two girls were growing up. Regret that some of the life and pf lessons that I am trying to shove down their throats now, could have been taught and practiced much earlier in their lives. And at a much more relaxed pace.

I spent some time going through my computer files where I had saved emails to my daughters. And I found something.

A pledge that the girls signed, way back on the 26th May 2005 and promised to hang in their hostel rooms as they left home for their University. I reproduce it below.


I, ——————————–, hereby solemnly pledge that I will seek and attain Financial Independence diligently and conscientiously. This, I shall achieve by :- 

a)         Consistently and diligently paying myself first with 10% of everything I earn,  whether it is an allowance from my family or income from any part time job or full time employment. I shall increase this percentage as my earnings rise.  

b)         Daily  I shall keep track of all my expenses so that I can cancel all the unwanted impulse money wasters. 

c)         Over and above paying myself this 10%, I shall save separately for a reserve fund for “rainy days.” 

d)         I will invest this 10% in long term compounding financial instruments that will continue to work hard for me. 

e)         I will read widely on personal financial management and practice the recommended ideas diligently. I will also seek and obtain advice on personal financial matters from people who are financially independent. This will help me in making the money that I have paid myself work harder to earn me more. 

f)          I will never lend any money to anybody. Rather I will donate and contribute to charity as required under the rules of my religion, Islam. 

g)         As soon as possible, I shall seek and obtain sales training. 

h)         I shall learn about insurance and obtain the required level of insurance as soon as possible. I shall also learn about trusts and wills and provide for my loved ones as soon as possible. 

i)          I shall pass on these rules to my younger siblings as soon as they are old enough to understand. I shall also be a good example for them.  

I pray to Allah SWT to give me the strength, wisdom and discipline to consistently and diligently implement the above rules. Irrespective of the many friends who will tell me to do otherwise.  Ameen 

Signed by:                                                                   Witnessed by: 





Reading this brought back memories of how the two girls promised to read and to follow this pledge.

I have not asked my girls specifically if they have followed anything of the pledge they signed with my wife and me as witnesses. Maybe I should.

One thing for sure, I strongly believe my daughters would not be among those of whom, Money, Smart Life is so incredulous about.

Maybe the pledge had something to do with it.

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6 Comments for “A good example why just preaching to my children on pf won’t help”

by Emily
On February 7, 2008
At 9:31 pm

Don’t regret anything. You’re doing a great job and even if you think you should’ve started sooner, remember that something forced down children’s throats too young can cause them to go against it entirely. That’s a great pledge!

On February 8, 2008
At 5:39 am

I particularly like F. Loaning money can make everything awkward for everyone. But giving to those in need is one of the five pillars…

I think many people I know (and me too) could have done well to sign and follow such an agreement. But you’re right, preparing over the formative years is even better…or at least a great preparation for this.

by fathersez
On February 8, 2008
At 4:15 pm

Hi, Emily,

Thanks for dropping by and the support.

I am hoping my two elder girls may say something…..hehe

by fathersez
On February 8, 2008
At 4:18 pm

Mrs. M,

Our family has been great at signing all kinds of agreements, some followed, some ignored…hehe.

(F) was because they would be mixing with a number of “new friends” while away from home and my wife and I did not want this issue of lending money and quarelling ever arising.

Not all their friends may be responsible. The kids went through a little of that when they were in school hostels for a short while.

by Journey
On February 9, 2008
At 1:09 pm

As parents, we can only do the best we can. All we can really do with our children is lead by word and example, guide them with patience, love and sometimes with a firm hand. and privately pray that they follow the path we’ve pointed out to them.

The hardest part is allowing them to make their own mistakes and not bail them out from the consequences, so they can really learn from their own mistakes. Otherwise they don’t become lessons but instead negative behavior patterns.

by fathersez
On February 9, 2008
At 7:59 pm


You have made great points.

I only want to add that some of our examples may not be the best. They may have been mistakes and we should try to guide our kids away from those.

Thank you for dropping by.

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