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A good piece of advice on marriages

Wednesday April 9th, 2008 by fathersez

Ron over at the Wisdom Journal wrote an interesting article titled “My worst decision ever” and that everyone should learn from the mistakes he had made. 

Ron detailed that the two lessons that his worst decision ever had taught him were :- 

a)    Marry a good person and 

b)    Never to take a job because of money. 

I want to talk a little about Lesson (a). 

Marrying a good person may be a little easier said than done, as I am sure that though all of set out to do exactly this, the divorce statistics do not bear testimony to our outstanding success. 

Courtship and marriage are two different stages in life. It has been said that man is deaf and the lady blind during courtship and these senses come alive again after marriage.

Last November, my wife and I celebrated our 23rd wedding anniversary. When one of my younger colleagues asked me about my secret to this long marriage, I answered, (a little tongue in cheek, perhaps), that all I did was to keep saying “Yes, dear”. 

This morning, I received an email from a friend, titled “Trust”. In this mail, there was a paragraph on accepting and forgiving our spouse’s shortcomings. (As usual, we are more receptive and forgiving of our own shortcomings.) 

The advice given was:- “Never criticize your spouse for his/her shortcomings or when he/she does something wrong. Always bear in mind that because of the shortcomings and weaknesses, he/she could not find a better husband/wife than you.” 

These are great words of wisdom. Words that should automatically run in our minds as soon as we feel the urge to open our big mouths and start saying things that we would most probably regret. 

It’s not just a matter of chance that we marry a good person. There is “work” involved in making the marriage work. Work to be done by both husband and wife in showing appreciation and respect for our significant other. 

Ron’s article may give us an assumption that he simply married a great, thoughtful and understanding wife.  But I am sure he has put in more than his fair share of work in ensuring that this is so.

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6 Comments for “A good piece of advice on marriages”

by Emily
On April 9, 2008
At 8:31 pm

Excellent points. I love that quote. I need to write it down somewhere. Congrats on 23 years, that’s wonderful!

On April 9, 2008
At 9:30 pm


Thanks for your kind words. You are already practicing this with your husband anyway.


On April 10, 2008
At 2:18 am

When I was complaining about not being perfect, Micah reminded me that if I was perfect I might not have married him. And it made me happy that I get to be with him, even though I’m not perfect.

Our relationship, even before we got married, was a lot of work. We don’t see eye to eye on some political things, for instance, and we’re both passionate about it. But we worked it out and figured out how to handle it. :)

On April 10, 2008
At 2:49 am

Let me echo Emily in congratulating you on 23 years of marriage. That really is special.

I completely agree that marriage takes work. I think the biggest key is appreciation. I know that I have been unhappiest when I have felt unappreciated. I also try to remember to appreciate my husband for all of his wonderful qualities and the joy he brings to my life. I know I couldn’t be any luckier in my marriage!

On April 10, 2008
At 10:11 am

Thanks for the link!

For the record, anything good that happened was my wife’s doing. :)
I know where MY bread is buttered!

She truly is a wonderful woman.

On April 10, 2008
At 10:30 am

Mrs. M,

I have said this before. Mr. M is a wise man.



I love your title. So many of us guys, underestimate the importance of the Homemaker, i.e. the CFO of the Family. The head of the basic building block of all countries and hence the world.

Thank you for your comments.


The title of your blog is most appropriate. You certainly dispense wisdom. Thanks.

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