Father Sez

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My mother passed away on Wednesday, the 19th March at 7.40 pm

Sunday March 30th, 2008 by fathersez

I was still on the flight from Kuala Lumpur to Chennai when my mother passed away. The first message I received as I switched on the phone after landing at 9.30 pm, Indian time, was from my wife, informing me that my mother has passed away, at 7.40 pm. 

The journey home took a lot longer than expected. It was the Easter break; the Muslims had the Prophet’s birthday celebrations whilst the Hindus had also some festivals. In addition, the Indian Highways Authority was widening the arterial road between Chennai and my hometown. All these converged to create traffic levels I had never before seen and I finally arrived home at about 4.45 pm, after a delay of about 8 – 9 hours. 

Muslims have to bury their dead as soon as possible. My thoughts, as I was on the bus trapped in the never ending jam, were on this. I talked to my eldest brother on whether he should tell my other brothers that they should carry on with the required prayers and go ahead with the burial. He told me not to think about this and just pray that I would make it in time for the prayers. 

When I reached home, my mother’s body had been prepared for the prayers and burial. I am grateful; I had a few minutes with her before the body was taken way. 

God was kind to us on that day.  It had been raining heavily for days and all the so called roads in our small town were full of mud and almost impassable even to foot traffic. But on the 20th March, the sun shone brightly. There was also a major Hindu festival in our town on the 20th, where a chariot would be pulled around the town. Roads would be blocked off to traffic as huge crowds would accompany the chariot. The mosque as well as the Muslim burial grounds was on the planned path of the chariot. The chariot got stuck in the mud and it took a full hour and a half for the chariot to be freed. During which time, the prayers for my mother and the burial went without a hitch. 

The prayers were very well attended.  

I thank God; my mother passed away with three of her children and a large number of relatives and loved ones beside her. My two brothers and sister saw her drawing her last breath. 

My mother, Madam Fatima Beevi, raised us against tremendous odds. An illiterate lady, she taught us basic values about trust and honesty. She managed to see the family slowly claw ourselves out of poverty, and gain some respectability. A week or so before her death, she got to see that the Indian side of the children had their own financial base. I am sure this was a source of great comfort to her. 

On the Friday before her death, she spoke with my eldest brother. Words that my youngest brother says were clear indication that she knew of her impending demise. She focused only on asking my eldest brother to ensure that we, in Malaysia would not forget our brothers and sister in India and to remain united no matter what the circumstances. 

Tears and lamentations will not bring my mother back, nor be of any use to her.  There are only 3 things on earth that would be of any use to my late mother now.

a)    Pious children who would pray for her, 

b)    People who have benefited from her assistance, and  

c)     People who have benefited from her knowledge and teachings. 

My siblings and I will do all we can on (a), whilst I am confident that my mother has left more than her fair share of (b) and (c). 

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8 Comments for “My mother passed away on Wednesday, the 19th March at 7.40 pm”

On March 30, 2008
At 10:35 pm

Welcome back online. While I’m very sad to hear that your mother passed away, I’m glad that she had children with her and knew that others were on the way. That must have been a great comfort for a life well-lived.

My prayers are still with your family.

On March 30, 2008
At 11:25 pm

Hi, Mrs. M,

Thank you for your kind words. My brothers, sister and I are hopeful that our mother knew that we have done our best for her.

And thank you for your prayers.

God Bless

by Emily
On March 31, 2008
At 12:39 pm

I am so sorry to hear you lost your mother. I read your post hours ago this morning and it brought tears to my eyes at the time but I didn’t have the time then to reply. You are such an insightful and thoughtful person and I am 100% sure your mother was proud of you and all you’ve done. She led a good life, as evidenced by her children. I’ll consider myself a success in my life if my children grow up to be as loving, caring, thoughtful as you are.

Many prayers for you and your family.

On March 31, 2008
At 3:04 pm

Thank you very much, Emily.

I am gratified by the many soothing and kind words I have received since our loss.

I don’t know if we’ll ever get used to our mother not being there. She has been a guiding light for so long, holding the family together through thick and thin.

Yes, life will go on, but we’ll carry this loss etched in our hearts and minds for as long as we live.

For now, I am just grateful, I grew up knowing a mother’s love.

by dawn
On March 31, 2008
At 6:35 pm

I’m sorry you have lost your mother - it’s a heavy hurt!!!
It also hurts that the world doesn’t stop to acknowledge this loss.
(That’s how I felt when my mom passed on).
It just hurts so bad…

I am touched by your statement of gratitude for growing up knowing a mother’s love - that is so true, isn’t it?
Thank-you for reminding me of that blessing!
I will say a prayer for your mother…

On March 31, 2008
At 7:58 pm

Thank you, Dawn.

Your words are a soothing balm. Let’s offer our prayers for all mothers. God bless them.

I now fully understand why the ancient Hindu scriptures mention, “Mother, Father, Teacher and God” in this order. And why Islam says the 3 most important people in our lives are our mother, our mother and our mother.

Thank you again, Dawn.

by Brooke
On April 8, 2008
At 8:20 am

Fathersez - I am so inspired to write as clearly and yet so well-detailed as you do about your experiences - it certainly shows how much you care about your mother. Your mother and your beautiful family will remain in my prayers.

On April 8, 2008
At 9:34 am

Thank you, Brooke for your kind words.

Rest assured all children will always love their mothers. I am just one of them.


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