Father Sez

The statement “Find a mentor” is almost a standard in any career guidance document. And I also told my daughters this when they started their jobs.  But exactly who would or should be our mentor?  Why should we find a mentor? And how do we go about seeking them? I hope my girls as well as others may find this post useful.  

Who are Mentors? 

The term “Mentor” originated from a character in Homer’s epic poem The Odyssey. When Odysseus, King of Ithaca went to fight in the Trojan War, he entrusted the care of his kingdom to Mentor. Mentor served as the teacher and overseer of Odysseus’ son, Telemachus.

A mentor is a trusted friend, counselor or teacher, usually a more experienced person. Mentors provide their expertise to less experienced individuals in order to help them advance their careers, enhance their education, and build their networks. And not for personal gain.

Why should we seek a Mentor?

Properly selected mentors provide specific practical information regarding our profession: entry requirements, opportunities for advancement and employment outlook. They can share their understanding of personal characteristics for success in the field, important issues facing the profession, personal rewards and sources of frustration.

Most importantly, mentors can relate a personal account of their own career path. Mentors provide a good reliable sounding board, second opinion, and sometimes just emotional support.They’ve “been there, done that”. Learn from others’ mistakes and successes. They don’t have to have experience in your particular industry. Their role is to share with you lessons from their experience in the hopes that you can learn them a bit more quickly and easily.Your mentor is likely to have an extensive network, and can offer you access to far more senior decision-makers than you currently have. And they will be far more willing to open that network up to you than some casual acquaintance from a networking meeting.

We can see the usefulness of having a mentor when we start of in any endeavor. Be it a new career, a new business, or even a new hobby or interest. They help shorten our learning curve and stop us from making so many mistakes that we otherwise would have made.

How should we seek out our Mentor?

Now that we have established the usefulness of having a Mentor, how do we go about finding them? Basically we have to search in out network of contacts and identify the person or persons who would best fit the bill.

That is to find someone who is:

-         Experienced in the field of our interest,

-         trusted,

-         wise,

-         Admired and respected.

The networks that we search should be extended to include Government programs and also industry associations. Like my goat rearing venture for instance. My wife and I have listed at least 5 people as mentors, including a Government official in the Department of Veterinary Services.

And of course, we cannot just assume that he or she would have time for us. About.com suggests some steps we can and should take to “court” the mentor of our choice.

My elder girl, Along, is now working in an organization that deals with children learning methods. As the organization is small in terms of staffing, I believe there will be a lot more closeness and solidarity amongst the staff. Hence the more experienced ones will be natural mentors for the lesser experienced ones.

Along can also seek out mentors in the University where (I hope) she wants to do her Masters. Another could be her former tutor in Wales, someone she has always spoken about with respect and admiration.

Azah, on the other hand, has just started work in a Big 4. She will have to check out her seniors and see who would best fit her ideas for a mentor. For a start she has a friend who works in another Big 4 firm and is a year Azah’s senior.

I have written about the more costly mistakes I have made in the past, including that of not managing my career. Though I did not mention it then, the mistake includes that of not having mentors.

A master and his student? 

Image Credit: Google

I hope my children look seriously into identifying their mentors and building a relationship of mutual cooperation with them, not unlike a master-apprentice relationship of old.    

The Fathersez family have just passed another milestone. The first two children have finished their tertiary education and have just secured their first jobs. As they leave the family house to stay on their own and pursue their careers, what can I tell them? 

Though I have talked to them a little about working life being very different from living at home as our kids, I have not addressed in any detail the steps they can and should take now to better manage their career. Starting on the right foot, so to speak. 

Perhaps the best way would be to write to them. 

Dear Along and Azah, 

Assalamu’alaikum Wrt! Wbt! 

Your Mama and I have done our best to raise you both with love, care and kindness. Along the way, we may have made mistakes. After all, the both of you were our first experiences at raising children. 

Alhamdulillah, both of you have now grown up as responsible young ladies. And as the next phase of your lives as self subsisting adults start, please take some time to go through this letter. 

1.     Cultivate a positive and “can-do” attitude. Approach each day positively. Tell yourselves that if others have done it before you, there is no reason why you cannot. And if you ever feel down, take a short walk and sing a song. Hakunama Tata is good. This song about the no worries philosophy should cheer up anyone.  

2.     Watch, ask and learn as much as you can. Absorb as much as you can like a sponge. As freshies, you are entitled to ask and learn. And believe me, everyone likes to teach. Ask nicely and thank everyone for every bit of learning you get. Remember that from now on, you have to seek knowledge. Gone are the days, when you both will sit in some lecture room and a lecturer comes to give you knowledge.  

3.   Do not fear making mistakes. Only those who do nothing make no mistakes. And have no fear owning up if you have made any. 

4.   Be nice and civil to everyone. Not everyone has been brought up the way you have been and things which you think are small may not be to others. Respect the feelings of others. And remember our Fathersez’s family’s 3 laws of getting along with people.   

5.   Dress appropriately. I think your Mama has already taught you both well. Still don’t forget that it’s better to overdress than the other way around.  

6.   Put in the hours. Finish each and every piece of work you have been assigned and do it well. Do not be a clock watcher. Check each piece of work that you do before you hand it up. And then ask your supervisors if there is anything else you can do to help. Get yourselves known as the “anything else to do girls”. 

7.   Take time to understand the corporate culture. Make as many friends as you can and learn from all of them. Everyone has something to teach us. 

8.   Cut off all the time wasting activities. Texting and chatting online can wait. Value your time and use the time well. Of all the resources available, time is the only thing that is irreplaceable. Even Bill Gates has 24 hours a day. 

9.   I want to quote some of Free Money Finance’s sound advice here to make the most of your job. He suggests that you should get a mentor, hitch to a rising star and volunteer for projects. He also says that you should know your boss’s priorities, and know what she wants done and do it. Other gems are communicating the way your boss does (If he prefers email, use it. If phone, use that.), be curious and make yourself more interesting to be around.

And finally start working immediately on creating your own brand. Get yourselves known as people who are dependable and have integrity. Employers do form  opinions of their employees and I think this is a great brand to aim for. 

Well, my little princesses, both of you are now leaving the Fathersez household. This year, your Mama and Papa will not be giving you any Hari Raya money. Instead the both of you now have to give your younger siblings and the many nephews and nieces that you have. This is part of growing up and being adults. 

Remember that your career may be one of the most valuable assets that you ever own. Manage it well, and make it work for you. I have made my share of mistakes in not managing my career and want to make sure you both do not end of repeating the mistakes.

All the best as you start off in your careers. And whatever may happen, the both of you will always be your Mama and Papa’s little princesses. 

Wassalam,  

Papa